Flashing.....*lights* lights* lights* lights*

I look up and I look down and I look all the way around. They are there when I close my eyes. They persist when I stop to cry. Can't pretend, even if I try. Denying them would be a lie. That's why I stare out way up high. Still looking for an answer why.
I need to leave, but don't know where. These circumstances are too unfair. I'm still under a spell. You don't know me very well. But I can't make myself care. This is why I sit and stare. Don't try. Don't even dare.

The best side and worst side of everybody you have ever known. It's disheartening. 

Jamming TPR. I don't like that Jenny Humphrey knows me so well. 

I'm not listening to you,
I am wandering right through existence.
With no purpose and no drive,
In the end we're all alive, alive.

2000 years I've been awake,
Waiting for the day to shake.


Dear all of you who've wronged me,
I am, I am a zombie.
Again, again you want me to fall on my head.
I am, I am, I am a zombie,
How low, how low, how low will you push me?
To go, to go, to go, before I,
Lie down dead.

Blow the smoke right off the tubes,
Kiss my gentle burning bruise,
I'm lost in time.
But to all the people left behind,
You are walking dumb and blind.
Blind.

For 2000 years I've been awake,
Waiting for the day to shake.


Dear, all of you who've wronged me,
I am, I am a zombie.
Again, again you want me to fall on my head.
I am, I am, I am a zombie,
How low, how low, how low will you push me,
To go, to go, to go, before I,
Lie down dead.
I'm dead, I'm dead, I'm dead.

To all of you who wronged me,
I am, I am a zombie
Again, again you want me to fall on my head.
I am, I am, I am, a zombie,
How low, how low, how low, will you push me,
To go, to go, to go, before I,
Lie down dead? - Zombie (The Pretty Reckless)

Paul said whaaaat the fu-

This seriously is the lamest bullcorn ever. EVER.  But it's cool.

smith.

Tomorrow is going to be the most boring day of my life. I'm so glad I enjoy reading. I'm not glad that I'm easily distracted and probably won't make any progress in the book I choose to take. Adult A.D.H.D., some people call it. It's really just an amazing ability to multi-task. I'm doing tens of things right now, as I write this.
I'm going to futilely try to go to sleep, because the only thing worse than an insanely bored Lena is an insanely bored and exhausted Lena.

I lied.

It seems I do not have insomnia.

Oh.my. I've been waiting and waiting and talking about True Blood since last season ended last summer. Granted, this weekend was rough and I got like 5 hours of sleep. So I leave the beautiful hotel that held the Wedding Fair 2012, and it may only be around 5 pm but I am ready to collapse. So after an annoyingly hot drive back home (45 minutes with my car claiming it is 103 degrees outside) I'm like, crawling to my townhouse. It's only 6ish...of course I have time for a quick nap! Somehow my quick nap turned into 10 hours and I MISSED IT. I have not seen the first episode of Season 5 of TB. Who am I? How did I let this happen? 

I did not attend my own True Blood party.

And apparently no one else did, either. My shirt still hangs in the closet. No signs of forced entry. My phone has dozens of missed texts and calls. It's ok to be disappointed in me, my friends, for I am disappointed too.

I have learned a lesson this morning. Several, actually.

1. Despite my attempt to remove all electronics from my bedroom, my phone must stay in there, even if just on the charger.
2. I am not an insomniac. Clearly I sleep when I need to. The rest of it is just more hours in the day for me :)
3. Always bring a change of clothes after working an event like the Wedding Fair. I would have rather drove home in a swim suit, and I am not stingy with the air. I max and full blast it.
4. My car windows must be tinted TODAY. I've had it for over a month now. Procrastination is not my friend.
5. Never rely on your internal body clock. It will let you down at the most crucial of moments. 
6. Engaged women are the most insane, selfish, self-centered, maniacal narcissists I've ever had the pleasure to meet. Whoever coined the phrase "Bridezilla" did not give these beeeeoootches justice.

True Blood Season 5: Trailer #2

QOTM - ~ With insomnia you're never really asleep, but you're never really awake either~ Narrator, Fight Club.

A tic-toc thing. Tic toc, doc. This is why I'm leaving weirdo San Antonio. There is nothing here for those of us who need a light for the night.
READ- A clean, well-lighted place by Ernest Hemingway. I'm sleeping less and less, and more randomly at that. But I like it.

Source: polyvore.com via Lena on Pinterest

This is the beginning. I've a lot to say. be back sooon.....